Mudder

We did it! The team completed Tough Mudder Classic with no real injuries and enjoyed it enough to want to go back again...with a caveat; we go when it's warmer. You see, the toughest obstacle doesn't appear on the map; the cold. The water obstacles were some of the most fun, but when you have another six miles to run and no chance of the temperature hitting double digits, it starts to get concerning.

After the event, I read about people getting hyperthermia. Our team skipped the plunge into the ice bath and a couple of us walked around a few other obstacles where you'd be fully submerged. Honestly, I'm glad we did.

Otherwise, the event wasn't that tough, but rather a physical puzzle. Take the “Hero Walls”; three walls of about four, eight and ten feet tall. The first one serves as a tutorial on how to safely clamber over the top and down the other side without falling. The second one would require figuring out how to help some of the shorter Mudders. I had a lot of trail shoe tread marks on my shoulder because of this one. The third one was tall enough that everyone needed a boost and even some support on the other side. Once you had a plan and a good technique, a ten foot wall can be overcome in seconds and that's pretty fun.

Pig

Tough Mudder is only around the corner and I'm feeling relatively comfortable with it. Possibly even confident. Six months ago, running ten miles would have been its own challenge, but not any more. In fact, getting through the course in less than the reported average four hour completion time doesn't seem like a problem in the least.

As for the obstacles, they fall into three categorise for me; filler, fun and fail. Piggy-back rides and crawling for a hundred meters are basically there to bulk out and add a little variety to the run. Nine foot high walls and twenty five foot tall cargo nets are a challenge but entirely completable with a bit of teamwork. But climbing across a ledge just wide enough to get your finger tips on, followed by a few dozen monkey bars and then some swinging spoked wheels, all suspended over a bath of cold, muddy water? I'm going to give them a go, but I'm coming out the other side a lot damper.

My goal is to complete the course, with my team and without injury. Having fun along the way should be inherent.

Pool

In middle school, I was awarded an aptly titled “I Can Swim” badge as well as a couple of incredibly unimpressive certificates. That was the extent of my time swimming until earlier this week. Spoilers; I didn't drown.

Despite being relatively inactive as a youngster, given the opportunity as an adult, I can perform what could generously be described as swimming. That is to say, under ideal conditions, I can propel myself from one end of a pool to the other without touching the bottom. If inclined, I can even make it back; although I suppose it would be much harder vertically.

Despite this newly discovered ability, I wouldn't feel confident swimming while fully clothed at, lets say, a Tough Mudder event. Something to bear in mind.

Bucket

It's been five years since the Ice Bucket Challenge was first popularised and in an effort to mix up training for Tough Mudder, I gave it a go before a run. Truth be told, it didn't yield a reaction anywhere approaching one from the more popular videos of the time. It's almost as if those overly dramatic expressions and unrealistic reactions would be shared more often, generating view count critical mass, and ultimately giving a false impression of the whole affair.

Caterpillar

“What's worse than finding a caterpillar in your salad? Finding half of one.” - said the person who's never taken care of the little bugger they rescued from the salad.

Still, there's something quite rewarding in taking up the role of a mysterious giant that periodically remakes the world when the old one starts browning on the edges. Eatnpooper (having named the little chap after its two favourite past times) seems to appreciate it.

Prepared

No article this week; Tough Mudder preparation has taken over. I've almost finished my highly detailed six month personal exercise plan. I just need to colour coordinate the sections and it'll be ready to use.

Running gear is all taken care of. I've got a lovely looking pair of brand new, never worn (maximising tread grip) trail shoes. I've even been practising mud avoidance strategies to keep them clean on the day. So far I've found working on the computer to be the best method. Speaking of which, I've accumulated several hundred hours of first person race day video viewing.

In terms of training, the big three are all under control. My nightly carb loading routine is going well, nose clearing without the aid of a tissue is down to a ten percent critical failure rate and I've been running drills in changing under a towel to minimise the risk of exposure. Exposure is a killer in outdoor endurance races.

Moniker

At a party that's running a little slow? With a group of people and can't bear the thought of unstructured social interaction? Need a game to play but only have some pens and paper? Then let me tell you about Monikers!

Monikers is a game for two teams, played over three rounds, where players take it in turns to pick names of (mostly) famous people and give clues in an attempt to allow their teammates to correctly identify the most names. In the first round, you can say whatever you like except the name on the paper. In the second round, you can only give a single word as a clue. In the third round, you can't say anything, only act and gesture.

The real enjoyment comes from the meta game that emerges. Everyone knows what names are in the pile after the first round and the clues that were given, so in the second round people build upon that information, and more so in the third, mistakes and all. You could think of it as a tool for generating inside jokes.

Take for example, the name “J. K. Rowling”.

First round: “She wrote the Harry Potter novels.”

Second round: “Potter!”

Third round: [Attempt to mimic the iconic pot making scene from Ghost as both Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze simultaneously]

Khajiit - The Wagon

Campaign Diary One:

Khajiit, once more on the road and who holds the reigns of the wagon? Khajiit is who! But this was sometime earlier. Sometime before the ambush by the estúpido little green ones. Khajiit stopped the wagon as soon as they spotted the dead horses. The goblins could not get to the flanks. While the Blüdlust and Ranger cut through the little ones, flames spilled out from the wizard fingers. The charred little ones is a sight Khajiit will remember for a long time.

One of the goblins was taken alive. Khajiit asked them many questions. The one who pays for the work was taken by the little folk and now they must be rescued. Khajiit senses a bigger payment is their future! No sense killing this green one. Not when the wizard had tied them up already.

These travelling companions of Khajiit's all laughed and made jokes about Khajiit taking a small bag of flour from the wagon. No imaginación. Flour on a journey such as this is second only to a sharp blade and the dark shadows. Perhaphs they were too busy snorting to see Khajiit lift the purse from it's compartment.

The path to the goblin's hold was lined with traps. Khajiit has disarmed many such contraptions in thier life and the best tool is the head strong amigo. After all, Khajiit does not travel in the front!

The cave was just where the goblin said it would be and the little guards did not last long. Khajiit hears barking within the darkness. Only one of these Khajiit likes.